


A Vampire Damsel in Distress

by ShiTiger



Series: Count Duckula the 18th [3]
Category: Count Duckula, Danger Mouse (Cartoon 2015)
Genre: Danger Mouse has a damsel-in-distress kink, Duckula is touch-starved, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rare Pairing, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27752755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiTiger/pseuds/ShiTiger
Summary: Danger Mouse is ready for a relaxing vacation when a certain vegetarian vampire asks for his help with a… family matter.  The super spy didn’t expect to find himself enjoying Duckula’s company, or developing feelings for him.
Relationships: Danger Mouse/Count Duckula
Series: Count Duckula the 18th [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028766
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. An Unexpected Request

**Author's Note:**

> (inspired by a cute picture I found online of Danger Mouse and Duckula cuddling - which I cannot seem to find again!)

Duckula was just drifting off to sleep when a firm knock on the front door echoed the nearly empty castle. The vegetarian vampire sat up in bed, yawning loudly. “Who in the world..?” 

The knock came again, deep and foreboding. As Duckula stepped out of bed there was another knock - this one swift, like a woodpecker battering a tree. He made his way cautiously to the foyer, pausing before the massive castle doors. “It’s fine, Duckula. You’re a count, and a vampire! No one in Transylvania is stupid enough to mess with you,” he told himself. A pleasant thought crossed his mind. “Maybe it’s my adoring fans, here to beg me for more music,” the count declared. He eagerly swung open the door to give his audience a bow. 

A small group of the strangest ducks stood before him, each one sporting a pair of sharp fangs. Duckula came to a terrifying realization. They weren’t fans - They were vampires!

“There now, Lucrecia, I told you he would answer,” the bald vampire declared. 

“Isn’t he just a darling boy,” one of the women sighed. “Such lovely hair.” 

The eldest vampire stepped closer, leaning heavily on his cane as he pointed at Duckula. “And those fangs… He’s a proper vampire, for sure.”

“Much better than the last Count Duckula,” one of the other vampires exclaimed. 

Duckula opened his mouth to order them to leave, but found himself transfixed by the bald vampire approaching him. “Come now, nephew. Do let us in.” 

“Nephew?” Were these people his family? Where had they been this entire time? Perhaps Igor and Nanny were among them. The count stepped aside, allowing the vampires to enter his castle. 

“It’s looking better than the last time we visited. Tell Igor to prepare a feast,” the bald vampire said. 

“And have that nanny of yours collect our coffins. We’ll be staying the rest of the week,” insisted the woman with the long blue hair, and spiky pink bangs. 

“Igor? Nanny? The last count Duckula wrote about them in his diary, but they’re not here,” said Duckula the 18th. 

“Did they go out then?” 

“No. It’s just me. It’s always been - just me.” Duckula wrapped his arms around himself, as he normally did for comfort. It was clear that Igor and Nanny weren’t among his new guests. 

The bald vampire stepped forward, taking him by the chin. “Clearly someone brought you back to life. Were there any piles of dust when you awoke?” 

Duckula perked up. “Yes, there were. Two big piles, and a letter. How did you know that, um…?” 

“You may call me, Uncle Vlad. Those dust piles must have been your butler and nanny. Eventually, every thrall returns to the grave. No matter, you can make more.” The older count waved his hand dismissively.

“Why are you dressed for bed?” one of the others asked. 

“It’s nighttime.” 

“You’re a vampire. Vampires are supposed to sleep during the day.” 

“I’ve been trying to get in the habit of sleeping through the night, now that my talk show isn’t airing 24 hours a day. I’m blaming Danger Mouse for that one,” Duckula grumbled, spitting out the super spy’s name. Who did that mouse think he was? Just because he was a little handsome, with his perfect white fur, didn’t mean he had a right to be more famous than him. 

“Talk show? Kids these days.” 

“Surely you drink blood.” 

“Yuck! I never touch the stuff. I happen to be a vegetarian. Well, there was that time that I turned the villagers into vegetables. I did manage to bite a few of them, but I had the worst stomachache afterward,” Duckula recalled. 

“Just like your predecessor,” Count Vlad sighed, rubbing between his eyes. 

“At least this Duckula has fangs.” 

“And turning villagers into vegetables means he can clearly hypnotize people.” 

Duckula took a step back as his ‘uncle’ loomed over him, now sporting a dangerous grin. That smile was giving him a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

“Don’t worry, nephew. We’ll make a true vampire of you.” 

“But I just want to be famous…” 

“Oh, you WILL be famous,” his uncle chuckled, grabbing the younger count’s shoulder with his claw-like fingers. “You will be the most evil Count Duckula the world has ever seen!”

* * *

This was the life, Danger Mouse thought, as he flew the danger car leisurely through the air. With Penfold off visiting relatives, Danger Mouse had the entire week of vacation time to himself. No missions, no responsibilities, no villai…” 

“Danger Mouse!” Duckula appeared in the seat next to him, startling the super spy into spinning the steering wheel. The flying car did several loops before the mouse was able to get it back under control. 

“Duckula, you can’t just appear out of thin air like that! I’m on vacation, for one thing…” Danger Mouse paused, taking a closer look at his new travel companion. The purple-suited duck was gasping for breath, his chest heaving in and out. “Are you okay?” 

“Danger Mouse! You have to help me!” Duckula reached out, grabbing his arm tightly. Crimson eyes gazed up at the super spy - panicked and pleading. 

“If this is some kind of trap…” the spy began, only to be cut off. 

“It’s not a trap!” Duckula released his arm, bracing his shoes on the seat to wrap his arms around his knees. He was dressed in his purple suit, but his familiar red cape was missing. “I…” The duck turned to gaze out the window. “What do you know about vampires?” 

Danger Mouse raised a brow. “Other than you, you mean. Well, I know that the stories say that vampires are undead, blood-sucking monsters. They hate garlic, fear sunlight, and even turn into bats. But those are just stories.” 

“They’re not just stories,” Duckula grumbled, his eyes downcast. 

“But aren’t you a vegetarian?” Danger Mouse asked, swerving the car gently to the side to avoid a mountaintop. 

“I am a vegetarian, but my family… well, it turns out they’re not. They showed up at my castle in the middle of the night. I only escaped because they can’t stand the sun.” 

“Escaped?” Danger Mouse exclaimed. “They were holding you hostage? Is that why you’re not wearing your cape?” 

“It was the cape or me,” the vampire sighed. “I distracted them with my cape, and then turned into a carrot bat, and fled out a window. They tried to force me to drink blood - Actual BLOOD!” The count straightened, turning in his seat to gaze at the mouse sitting in the driver’s seat next to him. “That’s why I need your help. They’re trapped in my castle until nightfall, but after that, they’ll be hunting me. Please say you’ll help me, Danger Mouse.” 

Danger Mouse sighed. How could he say no to those big, crimson eyes which were staring pleadingly up at him? To be fair, he did have a damsel-in-distress kink, no matter the gender of the damsel in need of rescuing. “Alright then. A quick trip to Duckula Castle to deal with your unpleasant relatives, and then I can get back to my vacation.” 

The unexpected hug, and whispered, “Thank you,” were so soft and quiet that Danger Mouse almost thought he’d imagined it. Almost. The super spy side-glanced at his villainous companion, noting the rather adorable blush on his emerald cheeks. “You’re most welcome, Duckula.” 

“Aaaaahhh! Just drive,” the vampire insisted, burying his face in his hands in an attempt to hide his crimson cheeks. 

“I’ll have us there in a jiffy! Besides, how hard can it be to defeat a family of vampires?” 


	2. Damsel in Distress

“Count Duckula belongs to us. You’re finished, mouse!” the bald vampire declared.

Danger Mouse pushed himself to his feet, his gaze fixing on Duckula’s disheveled state. The emerald feathered duck had lost his shoes and coat during the fight, and was now clad in only a ripped white shirt and purple pants. Count Vlad, his uncle, had the younger vampire in his arms, his sharp nails pressed against his neck. DM could already see the blood welling up around the vampire’s claw-like nails. 

“Your reign of terror ends here, Count Vlad. And the rest of you!” The other vampires snarled in response, rushing around the bald vampire to attack the super spy. Danger Mouse used their bodies as pillars, bouncing off their heads and backs as he aimed for the nearest curtained window. If his calculations were correct, the sun was only just starting to set. 

Danger Mouse felt a hand grip his ankle, but he used his momentum to deliver a swift kick to the woman’s face. She fell back with a furious cry, giving DM a split second to dart forward. Still too far away. Wait, that was it! His danger belt!

The mouse swiftly removed his belt, and used it as a lasso to grab the curtain cord. “Enjoy some Vitamin D!” He yanked at the cord, causing the curtains to part. The sunlight flooded in, hitting the vampires behind him square in the face. 

That should do it… Oh, ewwwww. Danger Mouse winced as the blood-thirsty creatures began to scream, their voices echoing the castle as their bodies slowly dissolved into ashes. The last to fade was Count Vlad, who struggled to keep his hold on Duckula until the bitter end. 

“You haven’t seen the last of us!” 

“Well, that was traumatizing,” Danger Mouse said, fighting the urge to be sick. He’d had plenty of adventures in his life, but none as  _ visceral  _ as this. His gaze darted to Count Duckula, who had collapsed to his knees, his fingers tracing the slightly bloody mark on his neck. “You alright there, Duckula?” 

The vegetarian vampire’s eyes widened at the sound of his voice. “Are you my Goosewing?” 

“Am I your what?” DM asked, taking several steps closer. His entire body ached in a way it hadn’t since his earliest days of spy training. Also, his clothes had not escaped the vampiric onslaught, given the amount of cuts he had all over his body. 

“Count Duckula the 17th… the last Count Duckula, was always being hunted by a man he called Goosewing. A vampire hunter, I guess,” said Duckula, tentatively getting to his feet. “I read his diary, but he didn’t really go into detail until, you know, he started having feelings for him. In his last entry, he said they were planning to run away together.” 

“Oh… That’s rather romantic, I suppose. I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of a shower,” Danger Mouse declared. “And maybe even a therapist,” he mumbled under his breath.

“You can use mine. I upgraded the entire bathroom, since it used to be just a tub. I can get you a change of clothes, if you want,” Duckula offered, glancing almost nervously at him. 

“That would be nice,” the mouse agreed. 

“Here we are,” said the count, stopping in front of a door that appeared to be more modernized than the rest of the castle. “I’ll go get those clothes.” 

* * *

“Ah, that was nice.” A good, hot shower was just what the doctor ordered. Danger Mouse stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of purple pants, and a loose white shirt. His host stood several feet away, now dressed in a long, violet nightshirt. 

“I should be getting back to…” 

“Can you stay?” Duckula blurted out. He quickly glanced away, his green fingers toying with the hem of his long shirt. “Just for tonight, I mean…” 

Danger Mouse hesitated, taking in the adorable embarrassment on the villain’s expressive face. Truth be told, it had been a very long day. And the vegetarian vampire clearly needed someone to lean on after watching his entire family, evil though they were, erased from existence. 

“Alright,” the super spy agreed. After all, one night couldn’t hurt. 

“Really?” Duckula’s crimson eyes glistened in amazement. 

“Sure. We can have a sleepover!” 

* * *

Spending time with Duckula was surprisingly fun, when he wasn’t trying to bolster his own ego. By the end of the evening, they were resting on the sofa, watching television. Danger Mouse glanced over at his, hopefully, new friend, and pondered staying a few more days - to help alleviate the count’s loneliness. With that thought in mind, he let his eyes drift closed. 

* * *

There was something heavy on his chest. Danger Mouse blinked open his good eye, and glanced down to find a sea of black and purple hair under his chin. Somehow, they’d both fallen asleep on the sofa, and ended up snuggling. 

“You know, for a vegetarian vampire duck… you’re rather cute, Duckula,” the super spy admitted quietly, giving in to the urge to rest his chin on the other man’s glossy hair. 

“You mean that?” 

Danger Mouse nearly jumped out of his skin, saved from an embarrassing fall over the back of the sofa by the duck’s body holding him down. “You were awake this whole time?” 

The vampire cautiously pulled away, rubbing his own neck awkwardly. “Sort of. I mean, I’m kind of an insomniac. It just… gets really lonely in this castle.” 

“Then why do you stay?” the super spy asked, crossing his leg over his knee now that he had the space. 

The count shrugged in response, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Where else would I go? This is the only home I’ve ever known.” 

“Don’t you have parents or family… Oh, wait…” Danger Mouse winced as he remembered what had happened to the family of vampires just the day before. “Sorry about the whole dusting your family thing.” 

“It really doesn’t bother me. I lived alone in this castle for ten years before they even bothered to visit me,” said Duckula. 

“Wait… How old are you?” Danger Mouse asked, giving the vampire a once over. He certainly didn’t look like a child. Definitely in his 20s, at least. 

“Pretty sure I’m immortal, but I’m not really sure how this vampire stuff works. I woke up ten years ago in a coffin, with nothing more than a note that told me my name. Count Duckula the 17th had a nanny and a butler, and maybe they’re the ones who brought me back to life, but they weren’t there when I woke up. It’s just been me, figuring things out on my own, I guess.” The vampire’s gaze settled on the ground as he rocked slightly back and forth. 

_ How am I supposed to resist such a sad, lovely young man?  _ Danger Mouse sighed, and opened his arms. “Come here, you.” Those crimson eyes focused on him again, glittery and slightly teary.  _ Yep, _ the spy thought,  _ there goes that damsel in distress thing again. Gets me every time.  _

“If you’re sure,” Duckula said, hesitantly crawling back into Danger Mouse’s warm embrace. They cuddled on the sofa without speaking, each soaking in the firmness of the other pressed against them. 

“You know, you don’t have to be alone. You could get out there, and see the world. I could help you,” Danger Mouse finally offered, stroking his hand up and down the count’s back through his silken cloak. 

“Aren’t you already overworked being a super spy?” the duck asked, tilting his head up to look at him. 

Danger Mouse gave the vampire a charming smile. “I can always make time for a friend.” 

“Are we... friends now?” Duckula asked, his voice low and trembling slightly. 

“I’d prefer that to being enemies,” Danger Mouse answered honestly. Those teary, crimson eyes focused on him again as the count nodded. The spy pulled him close, his heart skipping a beat as Duckula’s head nestled against his chest. 

“Thank you…” 

* * *

Somehow, they’d managed to fall asleep again, waking mid-morning, long after the sun had risen. Duckula had excused himself for a quick change of clothes, coming back with a second set for Danger Mouse. 

“No need. This frilly style looks lovely on you, but it just isn’t my cup of tea. I was thinking we could take a walk through the village today. See if they have any clothing shops. Or we could fly to one of the bigger cities,” Danger Mouse mused aloud. It was a pity he hadn’t packed a spare change of clothes in the Danger Car. 

Duckula cocked his head at him. “Do you need more clothes? Don’t you have more at home?” 

“Yes, but I figured I’d stay a few extra days, if you’re open to it,” said the spy. 

“You want to stay longer?” 

“I’m on vacation, and besides - I’d hate to take off right after we started getting to know one other. If you don’t mind having a guest around the castle, that is.” 

“I’ve never had a guest in the castle who wasn’t a vegetized fan… Er, I mean… Sorry,” the vampire ducked his head, his cheeks burning. 

Danger Mouse stepped forward to grip the other man’s shoulders. “One step at a time, Duckula. Now, I’m starving. Know any good places in the village for a spot of lunch?” 

“A new vegetarian deli opened up. We could go there,” Duckula said, leading the way to the main castle doors. 

“Sounds good to me!” 


	3. A Longer Visit

Danger Mouse stepped back as he heard a beeping from his watch. Tapping the button, his best friend’s avatar beamed to life in the air above him. 

“Where are you, chief? I thought you’d be back by now. I know how much you hate long vacations,” said Penfold, clad in his usual blue suit. 

“Oh, yes, well…” Danger Mouse glanced over his shoulder at the secret room they’d managed to find. Duckula was digging through a closet of dresses and feminine clothing, which was doing strange things to the mouse’s stomach. Maybe he was hungry?

“You know what, Penfold?” 

“What, chief?” 

“I’ve still got a few vacation days left. I’ll see you bright and early on Monday morning,” Danger Mouse insisted, nodding to his friend. 

Penfold made a face that suggested he wasn’t entirely convinced this vacation plan was normal. “If you say so, Danger Mouse.” 

“Enjoy the rest of your vacation, Penfold,” the spy insisted. 

“You, too, chief.” 

The avatar disappeared as Duckula poked his head around the bookshelf that had hidden the little room. “Everything okay, Danger Mouse?” 

“Just fine, Duckula. Mind if I stay a few more days? I can head back on Sunday night, if that’s alright with you.” 

“Only if you help me with this eyeshadow I found,” the count said, ducking back into the secret room. 

“Why not. I suppose it is hard to put on makeup when you can’t see your reflection.” Danger Mouse didn’t even think to question it. The count wore heavy black liner and purple eyeshadow every day, even during vacation. It looked lovely on him. What kind of friend would he be if he didn’t support Duckula’s style choices?

* * *

Duckula sat on the stool, clad in his frilly white shirt and purple pants. His suit jacket and cape hung nearby, and he’d swapped his fancy dress shoes for a pair of black slip-ons he’d found in the closet. 

“Okay, now tilt your head back a bit,” said Danger Mouse, swiping a gentle coat of purple eyeshadow onto the other man’s eyelids. It was a lighter shade than his usual, and it glittered under the lamplight. “There we go,” the spy said, taking a step back. 

“Wish I could see myself, but I’m sure it looks good. Unless you were tricking me into looking like a clown,” the count teased, loosening the top buttons of his dress shirt. The movement was so casual and relaxed that Danger Mouse couldn’t help running his gaze over the duck’s tantalizing chest feathers. 

“Is something wrong? Did I smudge my makeup?” Duckula asked, his tone horrified. 

“No, no, nothing like that. I just… You have really lovely eyes, Duckula,” Danger Mouse said, stepping closer. He gently cupped the other other man’s cheeks, smiling down at him. “May I?” 

Duckukla blinked in confusion. “May you what?” 

“May I kiss you?” Danger Mouse whispered, leaning down until they were nose to bill. The count’s cheeks took on a crimson hue as his eyes darted around the room. Then he nodded frantically, his hands gripping the stool beneath him as the super spy pressed their lips together. 

* * *

Well, this was certainly not how he’d planned to end the night, but he wasn’t about to complain. The emerald feathered count had been just as passionate as him, eager to move their coupling to his own bedroom. Now here they were, waking up to another beautiful day in each others’ arms. 

**“Beautiful day? There’s a thunderstorm shaking the castle, and you call that a beautiful day?”**

Danger Mouse glared up at the ceiling. “Hush, Narrator. You’ll wake him.” 

**“Sorry.”**

“I’m on vacation right now.” 

**“But I’m so bored. I haven’t done any real narrating all week,” the voice in the sky sighed.**

“You are not narrating my relationship. Now, shoo.” 

**“Alright. He’s all cuddly with a villain, but I can’t say anything…”**

Danger Mouse rolled his eyes as the voice faded away, leaving him and Duckula alone in the room. He was getting used to the comforting feeling of the count’s head cushioned on his chest. 

“Looks like you really are my Goosewing,” Duckula suddenly announced, chuckling against Danger Mouse’s chest. 

“Nope. I’m your mouse - your Danger Mouse,” the spy amended, leaning down to press their lips together. What a lovely way to spend a rainy morning. 


	4. A New Discovery

This was the life. Duckula was taking a shower, which left Danger Mouse with the sofa all to himself. The big screen TV was perfect for catching the latest thrilling spy drama on Mouseflix. And if his mind wandered to the thought of his lover’s green feathers glistening under a gentle stream of water, that was entirely his business. 

“What are we watching?” a soft voice asked. 

Danger Mouse glanced up as the other man sat down on the sofa next to him. He’d changed into one of the more feminine purple nightdresses from the secret room, but that wasn’t what caught the spy’s attention - it was his hair! It hung softly around his shoulders, silky smooth from the shower. Not a hint of gel to keep it in wild spikes above his head. 

“Stunning,” the spy whispered, his voice catching in his throat. 

“Stunning? Never heard of it,” said Duckula, producing a thick brush from behind his back, stroking it softly through his hair. 

“No, you… You’re breathtaking,” Danger Mouse admitted, his gaze fixed to his lover’s purple-highlighted locks. 

“What?” Duckula asked, his fingers freezing in confusion. 

“Your hair is so pretty like this. Not that you don’t always look good, but like this you’re…” Danger Mouse swallowed roughly, hoping the other man didn’t see the very obvious tent in his pants. 

“You really like it? I usually go for the more rock-star look,” Duckula admitted, setting the brush down on the table. He turned to fully face his furred lover, his eyes lidded and dreamlike. “Would you like to kiss me?” 

“Very much so,” the spy declared, wasting no time in pulling the other man into his arms. So pretty, so lovely, and all his…

* * *

“That was wonderful, Duck,” Danger Mouse sighed, rolling his hips leisurely. The man in his lap groaned, pressing their lips together. 

“Why are you so handsome and sweet?” the count asked, even as the mouse’s hand trailed under the bottom of his nightgown to tease his feathery tail. 

“Just lucky, I guess. Although, I think we made a mess of your pretty nightgown, my dear,” said the spy. 

The vampire chuckled. “I wasn’t expecting to end up in your lap on the sofa. Good thing we have the castle all to ourselves.” 

“Yes, it is. And with that storm still brewing outside, we can’t possibly go out. Whatever shall we do?” Danger Mouse shifted until his lover was laying on his back against cushions, his long yellow legs wrapped around his waist. 

“I suppose you’ll have to keep me entertained,” Duckula purred, pulling him closer. 

“Oh, the hardship,” Danger Mouse teased, pressing their hips together again. 

* * *

“So, this is the last day of your vacation. I suppose you’ll be heading back to London tonight,” Duckula said. They were nestled on the sofa, the spy’s arm wrapped around the vampire’s back as they watched the last episode of The Great Vegetarian Bake-Off. 

Danger Mouse glanced down at his other hand, which was tangled with Duckula’s in front of them. It was as if they were clinging to each other, savoring their last moments together. 

“You know, you could come with me,” Danger Mouse offered. “We could spend the weekdays in London, and the weekends here in Transylvania.” 

“You want me to come back to London with you?” 

“Well, we are dating.” 

Duckula pulled back, staring at him in shock. “We’re dating?” 

Danger Mouse sat up straighter. “Of course, we are. Unless you don’t want us to be.” The super spy felt his ears droop. Had this entire week been nothing more than a way for the count to quell his loneliness? 

“You want to date - me?” His words were soft and uncertain, a far cry from the exaggerated claims he’d made when they’d first met. “I mean, of course you want to date me - I’m the best,” Duckula exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to fake confidence. 

The super spy perked back up again. “Of course, I do,” Danger Mouse said, reaching between them to boop his lover on the nose. “Because you’re you. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you this week, and I hope to learn more about you as we continue on.”

“But I’m a villain… and you catch villains,” the count said, unconsciously running his fingers through his hair for comfort. 

“I can’t stand idly by and watch you turn people into vegetables, but your talk show wasn’t that bad. Although I do wonder how people can see you on television when you’re invisible in the mirror,” the mouse mused aloud, stroking his chin. 

“My talk show would be the most amazing show on Earth if people could actually see me. And I don’t _ have  _ to turn people into vegetables, but it’s better than having them ignore me,” Duckula admitted sullenly. 

“I bet Professor Squackencluck could figure out a way to make you visible! See, now you have an excuse to come to London with me.” 

“Yes, I suppose I do.” 

“Good.” Danger Mouse leaned back against the sofa, and extended his arms. “We still have time to cuddle before we have to head to London.” 

“You and your need for cuddling,” the duck sighed, rolling his eyes. But he happily crawled back into the spy’s warm arms, his head nestling on his chest. 

“Cuddling is nice, but there’s certainly more I enjoy doing with you, Duck,” Danger Mouse whispered, running his finger up the count’s spine. 

“You’re insatiable, Danger Mouse.” 

“Please - call me DM.”


	5. Back to London

“This is HQ. More specifically, this is my apartment. Penfold and I have separate rooms, so you won’t have to worry about him walking in on us.” 

Penfold glanced up from his jam making to see his best friend walking into the room, arm in arm with the villainous Count Duckula. “Oh, crumbs! Chief, what are you doing with him?” 

“Oh hello, Penfold. Sorry, I should have called ahead.” Danger Mouse pulled his feathered companion closer. “Right, well… Might as well just come out and say it. I’m dating Duckula.” 

“Right…” The hamster jumped off his stool, and padded across the room to stand next to the emergency button. “He hypnotized you, didn’t he? I’d better call the Colonel.” 

“No, Penfold! He didn’t hypnotize me. If he did, I’d be a vegetable.” The spy sighed, and gently pulled Duckula to the sofa, where they took a seat on the white cushions. 

“So you’re saying you just happened to fall in love with a supervillain,” Penfold said, raising a brow in disbelief. 

“Uh, well… A lot more happened than that. There were blood-thirsty vampires, and lonely castles, but in the end, I did happen to fall in love with him,” Danger Mouse admitted, clasping the vampire’s hands within his own. 

Penfold wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t been present to see the obvious affection on the count’s face as he gazed back at Danger Mouse. 

“I promise, I didn’t hypnotize him,” Duckula exclaimed, reluctantly turning away from his lover to address the hamster. “He helped me take care of my evil vampire family, and spent the rest of the week at Duckula Castle.” 

“How was I supposed to resist those adorable eyes of yours? And the way your hair curls around your shoulders when it’s wet, and the gentle tune of your voice when you’re singing in the shower…” 

Duckula immediately blushed, ducking his head. “You’ve been listening to me sing in the shower?” 

“You have a lovely voice. You should try singing more often,” Danger Mouse insisted, tugging his lover closer for a snuggle. 

“Alright, I believe you,” Penfold interrupted. A secretive smile crossed over his lips. “You’re both too sappy to be pretending to be in love. Is Duckula moving in with you?” 

Danger Mouse and Duckula exchanged a glance. “We thought we’d keep our separate places. Duckula will stay over at least a few nights a week, and I’ll try to visit him on the weekends. We want to see where this relationship takes us. Thank you for being so easy going about this, Penfold. You didn’t freak out once!” 

“Yes, well… It definitely has nothing to do with the time I spent hanging out with Stiletto last week,” Penfold chuckled awkwardly. 

Danger Mouse blinked slowly, considering his best friend’s admission. “You’re dating Baron Greenback’s top minion?”

“I wouldn’t say we’re dating… yet,” the hamster said, even as his watch beeped at him. “One moment, chief.” He spun around, whispering to the person on the video call. 

“He’s definitely dating Stiletto,” Danger Mouse grumbled, frowning at his assistant’s back. 

“It could be worse,” Duckula said, cuddling closer. 

“How could it be worse?” 

“He could be dating the baron himself,” the vampire snickered, causing the super spy to make an unpleasant face. 

“Okay, fine. But if I find out that trenchcoat-wearing crow is using my best friend to get to me, I’m going to make him regret it.” 

**“All's well that ends well. Stay tuned for next week's episode to find out the answer to life’s most important questions. Will Penfold and Stiletto ever go on a date?**

“Hey!” Penfold shouted.

**“Will Danger Mouse ever propose, and make an honest vampire of Count Duckula?”**

“We literally just started dating!” Danger Mouse snapped at the ceiling. 

**“And will Sinister Mouse kidnap the Siren of Transylvania, only to discover they’re soulmates… Oops, wrong fanfic.”**

“Siren of Transylvania?” Duckula raised a brow. “Never heard of her.” 

**“Him,” the Narrator stated.**

“Who is Sinister Mouse?” the count asked his lover. 

“My evil double from the Twistyverse. Come to think of it, we haven’t met your double yet. Wonder what he’s like,” said the spy. 

**“The Siren of Transylvania is the greatest up-and-coming singer in the Twistyverse. Claiming to be a vampire, he serenades the airwaves with his hypnotic voice. He is seen only in paintings, never in pictures or video. I’ve heard that he has a world tour planned. My Twistyverse counterpart already has tickets to his show in Twistyverse London. Lucky narrator.”**

“The Siren of Transylvania,” Duckula whispered. 

**“Where was I? Ah yes, the show is now over. Join us next week to see Danger Mouse fight a pretty princess.”**

“I fight who?” 

**“Nope. Shows over. No more spoilers.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to mark this as complete, for now. I did have one more idea for a future chapter, but it isn’t at the top of my list to write. I’d highly recommend checking out Danger Mouse 2015 on Netflix. It’s a lot of fun. 


End file.
